There is perhaps no more difficult and painful time in life than when a loved one is facing a terminal diagnosis. At this time, family and friends may feel helpless, unsure of what to do to provide comfort, support, and solace to their loved one. This is where the act of “holding space” becomes so vital. Holding space means being present with the dying person in a compassionate, non-judgmental way that honors their dignity, feelings, and experiences. It can help improve the quality of life for the terminally ill person, while also providing emotional support and assistance to their caregivers and family members.

Holding space can include many different types of actions and behaviors. For example, it means being fully present with the dying person – listening actively, engaging in conversation, or simply sitting quietly beside them. It is important to create a safe and non-judgmental environment that allows the person to be fully themselves, explore their experiences and feelings without fear of judgement. Holding space means helping the dying person to find a sense of peace, comfort, and emotional well-being during the final days of their life.

In addition to emotional support, holding space can also involve practical support. This means assisting with daily activities and nurse visits and coordinating with healthcare professionals to help manage medications, therapies, and other treatments. It also means finding ways to provide physical comfort, such as holding the person’s hand, offering a gentle massage or helping them to reposition.

By holding space, we are giving the terminally ill person a sense of control and independence during the final days of their life. It helps to give them a say in how they want to spend their remaining time, allowing them to participate or decline as they feel able. It also helps to ensure that quality of life is maintained during this difficult and challenging time.

Holding space is not only about providing support to the dying individual, but it also benefits caregivers and family members. By holding space, we create opportunities for meaningful conversations and shared experiences that can help to bring closure. At the same time, this kind of care can also help family members cope with anticipatory grief, burnout and exhaustion.

In conclusion, holding space for a terminally ill loved one is an act of love, compassion, and service. It is a way to honor and respect the person who is dying, offering them comfort, dignity, and emotional support during their final days. As a caregiver, family member, or friend, holding space is an opportunity to be present and attentive, to listen, to act with empathy, and to provide practical support to help the person die the way they want, with the quality of life that they expect. It is a deeply moving and transformative experience that can change the lives of everyone involved.

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Resources:

• [1] https://sharinghousing.com/sharing-a-home-for-the-dying-holding-space-asheville/
• [2] https://www.crossroadshospice.com/hospice-palliative-care-blog/2018/october/03/how-to-support-a-loved-one-with-a-terminal-illness/
• [3] https://hospicecarelc.org/holding-space-quality-end-of-life-care/
• [4] https://heatherplett.com/2015/03/hold-space/
• [5] https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/when-a-loved-one-is-terminally-ill.htm
• [6] https://www.kevinmd.com/2020/08/the-importance-of-holding-space.html
• [7] https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/providing-comfort-end-life
• [8] https://www.cancer.gov/publications/patient-education/when-someone-you-love-has-advanced-cancer.pdf
• [9] https://www.mindbloom.com/blog/what-does-holding-space-mean
• [10] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4357067/
• [11] https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/being-there
• [12] https://www.parsleyhealth.com/blog/holding-space/
• [13] https://www.hrrv.org/blog/the-gift-of-presence-tips-for-visiting-a-terminally-ill-family-member-or-friend/
• [14] https://www.hospicebasics.org/helping-family-through-family-members-terminal-diagnosis/
• [15] https://www.hospiceaustin.org/holding-space/
• [16] https://www.cancervic.org.au/get-support/facing-end-of-life/caring-for-someone-nearing-the-end-of-life
• [17] https://wanderlust.com/journal/the-importance-of-holding-space/
• [18] https://www.hrrv.org/blog/5-activities-to-do-with-a-terminally-ill-loved-one/
• [19] https://pierce.edu/holding-space
• [20] https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/cancer-information/advanced-cancer/end-of-life/for-carers/emotional-support/
• [21] https://youtube.com/watch?v=KpS_hQF8SyU
• [22] https://www.homeinstead.com/location/347/news-and-media/support-a-loved-one-with-a-terminal-illness/
• [23] https://holdingspaceasheville.org